Nine years of Hope

Duet. 8:10-14

"Take care lest you forget the Lord your God. . . lest when you have eaten and are full. . . then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of the house of slavery."

It's a mystery to me why nine years ago God gave me Hope in the midst of my rebellion and my hatred toward Him.

I lived a life of a Pharisee. I thought I had "asked Jesus into my heart" and then I came before Him with my hands full of good works. I was ignorant of the depravity of my heart. I did not realize how much I hated God. How could He see my good works as filthy rags? I thought I was trusting in Christ alone; I wasn't because I was still in equation.

Then, the Lord began to show me the blackness of my soul. I saw that I could never truly be good. I knew that this "asking Jesus into my heart" did not have the power of God in it. I hated Him even more. Yet, in His mysterious way, He continued to direct me in the right path.

Then, he gave me Hope. Holding a new life in my hands was a frightening thing. I knew I was solely responsible for this little girl. Also, I knew I was not equipped- I did not have peace the of God. Yet, I named her Hope because, once again, in God's mysterious way, I knew that one day, I/we would have it.

Nine years later, as is His character, God has remained faithful to His promises. First and foremost, He has given me peace with Him through his son Jesus Christ. Salvation was on God's terms, not mine. Finally, I love the fact that "nothing in my hands I bring, simply to Thy cross I cling." No decision changed my heart, but the mystery of God gave me a new heart. John 3:7-8

Next, God so graciously gave Hope a father- a father who loves her, prays for her, teaches her the ways of Christ, provides for her, disciplines her, plays with her. He gave me a spiritual leader, too.

So, today is Hope's birthday. I guess on this day, I can't help but think of my rebirth. It is so closely related with Hope and has been so recent. "I have eaten and am full. I don't want to forget the Lord my God who brought me out of slavery."

Today, my nine year old Hope is just like I was. Her hands are before God filled with good works. But, we pray, trust, and wait for the Lord to give her a new heart, a broken and contrite heart. A heart that will give her a peace with Christ, the righteous.

My Hope is in the Lord!